It’s the perfect night for terror, and maybe a little gore.
All you want to do is get high and space out to a scary movie with a few buds — nestled deep in the couch, feet propped on the ottoman, snacks in hand.
But you can always count on at least one of the 10 kinds of stoners to be present — those well-meaning folks you call “your friends” who will inevitably disrupt the otherwise perfect autumn evening spook-fest.
Can you identify which ones are people you know — and which category might apply to you? Let’s take a look at the rundown. Then tag yourself and friends on social media, and share your favorite frightful film(s) in the comments below.
1. The Rookie
They overdid it with edibles and haven’t figured out why their hands seem so freakishly huge all of a sudden.
2. The Happy-Hungry-Sleepy Pal
Just look for the trail of Doritos leading to the crash-couch in the next room.
3. The Techy-Tech-Tech-Techaroo
We get it – you’re current, introverted and really stoned. But you’re also kind of rude for texting and checking TechCrunch during the whole movie.
4. The Universe-Is-Expanding-Too-Fast Type
You can find them collapsed on the corner recliner, their hoodie pulled tightly around their face, revealing two barely opened eyes.
5. The Space Cadet
It’s like they’re not even there — they’ve mentally teleported into the movie reality.
6. The Lone Babbler
Their running commentary and questions just… won’t… stop. So it’s best for you to hit the bong again, try not to engage them and remember they’re not invited to the next movie night.
7. The Freaking-Out Type
“You are freaking out, man.”
8. The Forgetful One
“Hey, guys — when are we leaving to get some blunt wraps?” says your pal.
“After the movie, dude. We’ve gone over this at least eight times tonight,” says everyone else.
“Oh, right.” (Gets snack from kitchen, returns.) “Anybody want to go get some blunt wraps with me?”
9. The Klutz
You can’t set the bong on the table without this person knocking it over while reaching for the chips and making a huge mess. You know because that’s how the joint tray got soda spilled in it last time.
10. The Insatiable Smoker
Everyone else is blitzed out and engulfed in the movie, but this person just wants to smoke … and smoke … and smoke … the entire time.